is my blog ever working alright?
i find that this skin is kinda, mafan for viewers eh?
uhm, comments please.

okay. didnt went for the hair workshop thingy again!
hais ~
but i'l try not to pon anything that has got to do with manjusri
tomorrow onwards . i so wanna promote to sec four :(

Seriously, my crying yesterday wasnt enough..
there are so so many things to cry about ; be it my leaving , my past , my family & my future.

its not easy to leave people just like that you know?
let me tell you the whole story in brief .
I studied preparatory level in a private school , in my country , Philippines.
now a private school there aint like those in Sg now.
Private schools there are those well-looked upon .
They wont pass you for the sake of passing you cos your paying them.
no such thing there ba , that story is for a public school there.
After being 'attached' to being a 'private-student' kid,
my parents made some changes? my dad found singapore & he started
looking for jobs here. Yes he did found one, eventually.
My dad's a graduate, they say computer engineers that graduated from other
parts of Asia aint recognized in Sg? what crap was that.
My dad found a good job right after he seeked for one !
Parents happen to need some cash for registration
purposes in singapore. So from my 'private-lfe' student ,
came out a 'public-schooler' there. That was when im in P1.
Now, public schools there? dont even think of thinking of it . =x
Its hell , trust me , POOR kids go there.
now POOR means , the place is POOR .
POOR PLACE = POOR TEACHER STANDARD + POOR TEACHING AMENITIES .
understand now? whilst in singapore, government-supported schools
are STILL OKAY. in fact its actually better than private ones is it?
okay stop the school talk, let me continue.
Now my P1 life was bullshit. Everything were currently
studyuing there was already taught in Prep level, crap!
I dont even need to buy books cos i dont need them man .
I got #2 in rank for 8 effing levels battling .
WITHOUT STUDYING , I HAPPEN TO BE THAT #2 -.-
why did i say this? to prove how a public school there differ from a private one.
so yea, P1 , crap.
Now down back to my parents , my dad earned enough money .
more than enough that he actually brought me, my bro & my mom
to singapore. So i have to leave my friends there. My extended family.
Fine, i was in the verge of naivity that time. What do i know anyway?
A typical P1 kid will just follow where their parents go.
Cuase that's what they are for, anyway.
So were in Sg alrdy. I applied for P2 studies , i made it.
I passed Sg's exam, im in!
Happy? No. Like duh, singaporean kids are so so different from my hometown.
As in 1000000.000001% different.. (okay, that's over-acted)
Primary 2 was my trauma year!
My god, how those kids bullied me? How they criticised me?
I can remember so well, how i cry alone, how i wipe my tears
before reaching my lift up to my HDB block just to let my mom see im okay.
Imagine, ha-ha, a poor P2 student alrdy know how to hide her
feelings just for the sake of her parents' concerns.
So my mom used to asked me , "Hows school? made friends alrdy? English okay? Teachers? Do they treat you well? Your classmates, do they talk to you?"
Then i will be like "Yes, my classmates are so funny, they welcome me so well , my teachers helped me make friends. Indeed, their good. I like it here."
Im saying the truth to my mom? NO!
A BIG NO!
FUCK THAT BUKIT VIEW PRI SCHOOL .
i havent got my revenge to those kids, to those who brushed my face
using REAL paint. to those who hanged all the calls i made for my mom.
To those who treated me like one loser, gang up againts me.
Made me cry for the sake of others' happiness, made me weak, made me
think i shouldnt be here, EVERYTHING! I HATE THEM!
I can so well remember how they said "hello" to me & make friends with
me during my 1st day. but hoho , first day !
2nd, 3rd, until my very last day, it was all crying & struggling.
at most i met 2-3 friends . that's it .
Okay, so im very scared , i dont know why my mom transferred me
to Bukit View Pri School, maybe she can see my red eyes whenever
i depart from my school bus? maybe she knows im being bullied even
if i didnt say so? maybe she knows. maybe she hides it , just how i hide it from her.
Primary 3,
Dang, so totally different . Its good, i learnt from mistakes. I like it.
Wondering why? cos i learnt being fake. i learnt how to backstab my fellow
kiddos just to make friends, that was what i learnt from P2 anyway.
But as time goes by? Singapore's slowly accepting me.
& there! WOW! i learnt to love myself & singapore , and so did singapore & its people learnt to love me .
Happy ending? no la :)
LIKE HELL , EVERYTHING IS ALREADY OKAY! BUT MY PARENTS BROUGHT ME BACK TO MY COUNNRY! LIKE WHY ? I DONT KNOW , IT JUST HAPPENED .
so bbye to bestfriends i made here? yes, its painful.
i saw them cry . i saw myself crying too .
Hehs, a P3 kid alrdy know how to push herself for her
parents' decision, even though she's not okay with it.
Sounds simple? Think again .
Primary 4
Yay , im back to a private school! Living a rich life again .
Like yes, im finnaly stepping into one well-known school again!
& after i stepped into my own classroom? :)
FUCK? !@#@#$~!@~2! their reactions towards me was... "is this a foreigner or some sort?!"
cos duh , i came from sg , my fashion sense was in sg terms!
WHAT DID THEY EXPECT!
okay, P4 was really all the making-friends session + getting myself used to my country again.
P5 is alrdy okay , i learnt how to dance, made friends.
Found a group , well i gotta be honest .
The group i made there, "Whyte Frequenzy" , a dancing group,
was hell famous in my school. Everyone wanna be LIKE US .
they copy us , they fear us , they know everyone will side us .
So who dare to get on our way? Cool uh?
Well yes, my P5 - P6 life was totally cool. TOTALLY TOALLY PERFECT.
UNTIL ITS GONNA BE RUINED AGAIN COS MY MUM MADE THIS LAST MINUTE DECISION OF ME BEING BACK IN SG! & STUDY HERE ! AGAIN ? SUFFER AGAIN? AGAIN!!!!!
Then hell ! Another painful ending, i have to graduate from my P6 school
with tears? no. As i mentioned, i alrdy learnt how to hide my feelings. TO stand on my own. At a meer young age, I LEARNT.
So how did i told my friends? huh, cmon. its so difficult to leave . i swear .
Yet again, painful. I saw them cry, i saw myself crying too.

So April 8 2005, Faye went to singapore . What's for me here? Who knows.
It was April, school here starts at January, but it was sec one anyway.
So everyone have fresh minds . So i searched for a school .
I FOUND ONE?
Yes, i found MANJUSRI & it HAD a place.. for ME..
Sec One
the moment i stepped into Mjr . . . . .


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~to be continued .