another fight. God. Iloveyoumore i tell you. Remember your promises & i'l do my part. Thanks for staying . Thanks for your hug. Thanks for your comfort. Thank you for STILL loving me.
jan kaw lang (:
12:13 PM
27.1.09,
i wont longer complain or tell you what's wrong. not because im selfish. but because i know im leaving you behind. from now on, i'l just treat you like your not mine at all. in fact your actually not. goodluck to us.
1:45 PM
26.1.09,
Gah! Fuck. Boring :| Seriously, if only i knew i would be stuck at home just because of my group, i shouldve went to MJR for sec4. that way, i can still GO OUT. Fucccckzxzxzs.
Sucks. Im leaving already & yet i dont even have the time to spend with my friends here. I want to get drunk! Jidaaan. For goodness sake. I just wanna go out & smoke & drink like even JUST FOR A DAY. lol.
Eh, dont get me wrong okay. Not like im addicted or crazy or so into alcohols. hahaha. whatever, i dont really care what the rest thinks now.
Sooooo. Hais, i cant accept the fact that im always at home :( FREAAAAK. childhood childhood! im yearning for that!
GAH . forget it. i'l watch series instead.
Oh & HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! may all Chinese recieve good luck for your new year.
ahaha. TAKECAREEEEEEEEEEE :D
& to the plans & dreams we have, i hope love brings us there :)
Thank you. For still staying. For not giving up. I so wanna tell you alot of things. Thankyou. Thank you. Iloveyouten.
2:31 PM
23.1.09,
Sitting down alone with people actually there but you cant feel them ; is really my greatest downfall.
Damn. I hate all the feelings that im encountering now. Everything that's good is gonna end soon. Infact, it already ended. But the pieces left are really still mendable. So everyone's trying hard. He is trying hard. The moment i heard that kind of voice tone from him, i just so wanna run to him & hug him like so tight! pero hindi nman pwede e ):
Bakit nga ba ang daming pumipigil ? Mali ba to? Ang gulo gulo nman e.
Since the day i met him, both happiness & doubts filled the inner me. I am so so full of worries & fears. At hindi madali yun! Pero from the start, cnbi ko na mismo sa srili ko na mssktan at mssktan lang ako.
Fuck everything. I really want him so much. So much, that im willing to give up what i can. Tanga nman e. Everything is just plain dumb from the beginning. From those 'bawal mainlove' rules to 'bsta gn2 tayo' to NOW! I dont even know WHAT ARE WE now! GAAAAH. nkakapagod. Gs2 kong gawin to, gawin un, tanong yun, tanong to, Eh pucha. Ano ba ko? Sino ba ko? anung karapatan ko!?
Damn. Dati nman, ang dali dali bumitaw e. Pero bat ndi ko ba mgwang tigilan nlang to? & to think im leaving VERY SOON na? God! dba mag mahirap yung pinili mong ituloy kahit na mta2pos lang din? ANU BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -.-
lies. cheats. hidden reality. pain. Take those words off US can? ): Ive only like 2 months or so left, but i so want this to work out):
bat ko ba to nrrmdaman. ayoko ng gn2. naka2inis. naghi2ntay ako ng tawag. TAWAG MO. its 11.44 PM ! FUCK. you asked me to hold on sa cellphone ko. GAGO. isang oras na kong nagiintay. ni ndi ko alam kng lasing kana. Or kung anu anu na nrrmdaman mo ngaun. GAAH. Daniel. Ten. Whoever you are. IKAW LANG GS2 KU EEEEEE ): ayoko na sa iba. mali yun dba ? ITS VERY WRONG.
so im still thinking. should i put everything to an end & suffer? or let him just stay..... with you. you & him.... & suffer?
Sitting down alone with people actually there but you cant feel them ; is really my greatest downfall.
11:32 PM
19.1.09,
I so wanna quit KFC alrdy . lalalala. okay, reality check now. My mom found out that im actually bluffing her ; at work but actually not.
So the grounded days are here again. But ofcourse, because i know she's gonna take my handphone as soon as i reach home, i asked for someone else's phone. So, my prepaid's still on okay! sighs.
ARG! problems again! so super suay. saturday night, it was suppose to be another group hang out with friends.. But then -.- Okay, whatever. settled taiji at eunos . Boys sparring nias. JIDAN!@!#!#~@#~!@!#$ that group is seriously so gay okay! they announced that they won, but what? were chasing after you all & you guys run away? STUPID =x waste our time. not only that, they informed their parents about the fight. HELLO!!? your parents know OUR parents luh! FUCK . go to hell man. i swear im cursing those boys.
so here's all the trouble i caused. remember? i said im gonna be a bitch first. maybe that's life. you feel something & you try your outmost to do it.
Well. My mom knows the whole story already. But, she doesnt even open up this topic to me ): & that's not good news. Cause i alrdy discussed with a friend, that WE wont longer lie about anything, anymore. But my mom's not talking ): Right. Maybe she feels that i wont listen anyway. Or, maybe she knows by just locking me up will do. Fuck baby. Pft.
you know, i really wonder myself why in the world i cant leave you. your. your. your actually someone girls must avoid to fall inlove with. because you'l either hurt them, or play the game of hide & seek with them. i know alot of things already ): & you suck. im so fucking vain now. its as if i dont care sharing you with anyone. as long as your happy & as long i can take care of you. okay, am i really capable of making you happy? Fuck okay. the words you speak are so man? okay. their lovely. I so wanna believe it. But parts of me just tell myself, no. its not true. he says that to other girls too. WELL. i dont know. i love you. JUST. JUST. just dont hurt other girls . BE .. be happy!
That's all i ask of you ten ): di mu nman to mababasa e. hahaha. ayus lang to :D
OKAY! that's it. feelings showered. goodbye (:
12:19 PM
16.1.09,
Time to be a bitch for the meanwhile one more. sorry for the troubles that imma cause again. BYE.
6:27 PM
15.1.09,
LIFE IS SO SELFISH!
3:35 PM
11.1.09,
HELLO PEOPLE! i had a lovely saturday yesterday :D :D hahahas. worked from 11-5 pm. then, went to kallang mrt to meet charles. smoked a while at the rooftop of the hdb infront kallang mrt.
then then then, went to pasir ris mrt. to meet the rest of the people ! yea man (:
was with my group againn :] so. yea. we all walked to pasir ris park . & the session started. LOL .
hais . i didnt know lying down on a rock with the most precious guy for you is damn lovely . ARRRRG. im done . im done. ive fallen? i dont know. whuteverr. its our love story anyway . & as the female lead of a story, i shall not make the guy lead cry! & blablabla. there's more to tell about me & him, but i cant seem to put it into words.
yea & anyway, cabbed home with OHT at around 2.15 am . reached home @ 3 am. thanks to kfc, i can maintain my teen age life . hahas!
okay. & blabla. im in very good terms with charles now, he's like my closest guy friend? & my relationship with oht . maybe uncertain but, were both happy & that's whats important. im still trying to fix things between me & ... whutever. i shall stop posting.
i realised each paragraph talks about diff. things. haha, tell you why. im halfways typing then stopping for either friendster, phone, YM or MSN . hahas.
k, im really stopping now. TAKECARE YA'LL!
the funniest love story , is with me now . ahahas. iloveyouOHT!
11:43 PM
9.1.09,
What IF .
What if you manage to get all the friends, attention, love, concerns, care & whatever it is that you so wanna have? What if.. What if 3 boys like you at the same time? & you dont want ANY OF THEM to be unattracted to you? What if... what if you actually wake up one day, & the guy you wanna get rid of, is finally gone? What if another one comes, & he makes you so happy, so happy that you forgets the rest, but you dont care? What if the other 2 is showing signs that they dont want this person (whose making you happy) around? What if you actually played along. Like love him, but care for the other? WHAT IF YOU FELL INLOVE WITH SOMEONE , but have to give him up because you know nothing is going right between the 2 of you? Here's the twist. You gave '#2' up . But '#3 & #4' stood there for you. They made you feel you can cling on to them. Anytime, anywhere. Sure . so everything's fine. Until .. Well, '#2' is trying his very best to make you realise its a mistake to leave him . & the guy you got rid of previously, now comes back with somewhat 'atitude' towards you . (because you rejected him). So yes, you have '#3 & #4' by your side , while '#2 & *guy you got rid of' keeps irritating & making you loose up. Good. Fare & square isnt it? Still nothing wrong? Guess what . '#3' suddenly realised that .. your actually trying to make him stay . While all along his TWO VERY GOOD FRIENDS , are hurting because of you. So '#3' outta your side . What do you have left ? HIM. Him, him who seems to be so inlove with you. So inlove with you that he made the rest think that they shouldnt even talk to you regarding the past, be it the good or the bad. your fine with that set up for a few days. But ..
What IF . What if you suddenly realised half of the world has gone just because of a big storm in your life? and . What if .. What if that big storm was actually the one who cathes your tears, who corrects your mistakes, who stands up for you when you loose, who stops your worries, who make you laugh , who LOVE YOU. who protects you. EVERYTHING!
FUCK! WHAT IF YOU JUST CANT SEEM TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A WORLD FULL OF PEOPLE AROUND BUT WITH UNCERTAINTY OR A WORLD WHERE THERE'S JUST YOU & HIM but EVERYONE IS KINDA AWAY FROM YOU , BUT HE LOVES YOU, HE MAKES YOU HAPPY, HE ASSURES YOU THERE'S ANOTHER TOMORROW, ~ ..
But your not that happy anymore?
):
11:03 PM
8.1.09,
Lalalala. worked @ kfc today. reached exactly @ 1 pm . im the only 'youngster' there. OH LALA. its so super niceeeeeee ! cause that way, you'll feel its WORK. yea yea. called cheryl just now . as i thought she could help me pass yijie's 30 dollars to her. But uh, she's at amk? with alot of people. SO , change of person. DENENG. he's at home -.- okay, last option . KENNETH YONG! heehee. why didnt i thought of him man! okay, went to mcc to pass him $30 . & finally, yijie's money is on the way le.
but another $130 for YB. that would be settled by. those 3 guys. before 24 okay! thankssss :D
hmmm. reached home @ around 8:30 pm. yup. 1-6 pm @ kfc tomorrow again . Its sad manjusri aint in sims drive anymore. I only see broadricians in kfc. LEWL.
Okay, who cares. buh-bye (:
11:58 PM
6.1.09,
YO YO! I LOVE MY BLOGSKIN :) SIMPLE & ORIGINAL? haha. kinda.
im pretty much concerned about her. WELL. i promised my self not to let love win ego. so, yea. i'l hold it or as long as i can. be it because of my pride or because of what she'd done. I DONT CAREEEEEEEE :D
aya, can that amount come into my hands faster? i wanna be as carefree already.
okay, please tag. BYE :D
4:52 PM
5.1.09,
i dont really know what urged me to post. but yea, im blogging. hmmm. actually, life without school, it dont suck. i thought im gonna be bored but, im fine :) i think im gonna be working & hanging out with my friends at the same time. well anyway, i hope everyone in manjusri is happy . i miss the school. but , its better this way. hee :D
but i want to ask a favour . well, maybe to someone in particular? or maybe not.
You know, a girl like me is so fucking used to be judged. So go ahead & continue murmuring stuffs about me. I dont careeee. It might hurt, oh yes it does hurt, but helloooo. ive got so much company now. If you think i changed, Then you dont have to care. Were not even anything. Forgotten that im a bitch? & a bitch forgets everything in the past. Be it love or hate. GOODLUCK BOO.
okokok :) i hope . i hope . & i pray . that onehundredtwo wont go. he's all i need. bbye!
1:03 PM
Faye.
Let me get this simple & straight.
Im someone. IM REALLY SOMEONE.
Who is yearning for peace of mind.
Someone who wanna correct my mistakes.
And someone who want to change the world.
Lie, to save myself from getting scolded.
BUT PLEASE. THERE'S LOVE in my heart.
So quit the judge. Thanks & try to read my posts. :)
